Monday, June 26, 2006
the road less travelled.
took the wrong bus to work today. and ended up having to walk the equivalence fo 2 busstops to take the bus to work. result? toner calf and thigh muscles with matching muscle ache. but heng man..cos office was locked..couldn't open the door and had to call the locksmith in..so officially i was really really early for work. heh.
went for 2 dinners over the weekend, but somehow nothing quite beat the bfast i had this morning. simple fare, woke up extraordinarily early but happily so. thankful for a great way to kickstart the extremely long week, esp cos its one of my colleague's last week at work. =0(
over the past few days, been going on roads/routes i'd normally not take or go to. got tired of the normal route, so tried soemthing new. but like this morning, went pass this cool lil place, and somehow ended up taking the wrong bus. whahhaha exploration 101 gone haywire. hahah happened on saturday too. cos was by myself, and just decided to speed down portsdown road and somehow ended up at the opposite side of the expressway. but hahah quite fun la, saw things, ppl, places i either never saw before, or tat i brushed aside last time. so in a way being alone sorta trains u to be on a higher alert mode than u'd be if u were with others.
went for my fren's wedding yest, nothing quite beats going to weddings cos they reaffirm that happiness and love does exist. tat the impossible does happen, tat if 2 ppl tried hard enuff, things will work out. congrats to u 2! fren looked positively stressed, but i think by now tat stress would have dissolved into thankfulness and just tons of feelings for his new bride. watched as he re-enacted his proposal, and then watching how he kenna tekan at the dinner by everyone, jus felt so xin fu for his bride. she's quite lucky, cos fr wat i noe of my fren, he'll definitely take very good care of his wife and family. tho he's not really the type to be super expressive abt it. lucky lucky her!
always thot tat married couples or couples who haave been together for a long time shld attend weddings, cos it evokes warm feelings and makes u see ur partner in a sorta diff light. like, it refreshes things, puts things back in perspective, makes u be thankful tat u've got someone by ur side. but think tat is more so if u went for the church wedding i think. esp when they exchange vows? cos chinese weddings tend to be more boisterous, and more of a happy, loud affair to bring up the mood, rather than sweet and touching, if u get wat i mean..
but tat might seem strange coming from someone who still questions the whole concept of marriage. still haven't really understood why we have to get married. but then again when u can't even find the one to be with, then its either tat marriage becomes a matter of convenience, or u're just really lucky to be able to legalise the union btwn u and ur partner isn't it? yet so many ppl want to get married, have kids. guess at the end of the day, wat matters most is tat u have a family to go home to. not the extended one, but one tat u personally created. marriage is questionable, but yet ppl question u when u don't marry, or do wat ppl call co-habiting. why can't 2 ppl be together jus cos they want to be together, without having governing laws to further tie them together?
well maybe cos its been drilled into us, tat after sch, we shld go to work, then get married, have kids etc. and cos of some unknown reason, society frowns upon long term relationships with the intimacy of a marriage without its official (and officious) stamp. for 2, it gives both party some sort of security and ownership. as in, in the case of a divorce, u have something to fight for (like tat 2 carat diamond ring u gave when u proposed, or the sprawling mansion complete with 1 lambo, 2 ferraris, and maybe 5 jags? hahha), and ownership in tat no other man or woman is lawfully allowed to be part of this relationship. as in, if u got married, and there was THE OTHER WOMAN or MAN, u'd be able to assert ur rights legally by suing or something i guess. u have more of a right, as a husband or wife, as compared to when u're just dating. but isn't it sad tat the marriage cert protects u from the ill falls of marriage (like infidelity)? its like stopping negative behaviour, rather than encouraging positive ones. *shrug*
but despite this, while a part of me doesn't really wanna get married, or have kids or watever, i know that i'd still wanna get thru with all this fan fare. cos i think tat everyone has a romantic side to them, and the romantic in me still dreams of the day when 1) i can once again fall in love with and find someone who i think can walk thru the rest of our lives with 2) get thru the hell known as wedding preparation and pre-wedding jitters 3) look at him and confirm once and for all, tat he really truly is the one 4) and do the same 10, 20, 30, 40, years down the road.
but for now, courage don't desert me. you were so sweet yesterday and gave me the courage to do something i wouldnt have done if left to myself. and thank you for that.. =0)
so now, my dear heart, u have to buck up and be able to do the same for me, to give me whatever courage i'll need whenever i'm abt to falter. calling lil miss brave..stop hiding and kindly report to work!! like now? now now now!
thinking out loud at 10:23 AM
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