i think it was 8 years ago, exactly. do you remember?

8 years ago this day, i cant even remember how many days that would make it, but all the images are still very much in my head. clearer than spring water, so clear i can see right through the deepest depths. can you still remember?

its been 8yrs, cousin and i were marvelling how fast time flies. we've been ok, seen better, been thru worse, and thankfully survived it all.

auntie eileen's ok, she's got new hobbies to keep her busy. she's into scrapbooking now, capturing all the memories as they come along. much more chatty now, she's opened up, unlike previously years ago when she was really shy. i guess she didnt feel she fit in cos she cant speak cantonese, plus all that miscomm when you left suddenly. but no matter, things are good now, perhaps i shld get her to learn swimming with me =0))

cheryl's growing up quite nicely, thought you might like to know. we're all so thankful she's a happie little girl. well, not so little anymore, though we wonder where your tall genes went. apparently our little girl is one of the littlest in her whole level!

but she goes about, just as you knew she would. she dances her way through school, loves her ballet tons and wants to go into the arts school, of course to the horror of her mom, your wife. and, unfortunately, she has inherited our teeth. looks like us cousins all have to endure the pain of braces. bah to bad genes!

but yeah, she's as happie as can be, takes things as they come (a wee bit too easily!) and she really has this infectious laugh, cos she's so tickled by everything. we've got an ongoing wager with this silly girl, depending on how well she scores for her psle, she gets a variety of rewards, ranging from piercing her ears, to a new hp, to overseas trips to japan or the like. we jus hope she does well enough to get into a good school with no bad company.

i dont know how much of you she remembers, i'm sure you'd remember everything. we remember too, and though all of us have been brought up to keep our emotions in check, to not explicitly express how we feel, but you know what, we all really miss you much. sometimes, i wish you remained as one of the 2 'missing' ones, instead of as part of the formal statistic. at least there'd be some hope u'd come back, someday.

but u wont, and i'd jus keep wondering where you went and where you are right now.

i want (need) a pair of cool sneakers. in white or red.

and, according to trippy who's been to nepal and done hardcore trekking, they need to have grooves and absolutely cannot be smooth and flat if i intend to trek in them instead of getting sensible hiking boots.

where to find?!

oh and i need new jeans. i cleverly ripped the bottom part of my jeans trying to use them to hoist my leg up, but they are getting a tad too loose anyway.

but i guess not cos i am feeling so poor i'm imposing a shopping ban for the next couple of months. how that shopping ban wil work out exactly, well, i'll work it out asap. thankfully the holiday's already been paid for. doing 'research' on etsy does.not.help.at.all. all the pretty things like this, this, and this! bah.

actually, i just need a sewing machine to get all my existing stuff fixed/altered/modified /revamped and i'll easily have enough outfits to see me thru cny. oh and maybe some red cloth too. a friend kindly alerted me to how men would perceive ladies wearing red as more attractive and would spend more money on them. funnily, it has no such impact on women. men can be so primitive/shallow sometimes. hiaks.

btw, my quest for red sneakers has nothing to do with the report. its been ongoing waay before i read it this morning. =0))

i overslept this morning, i off-ed my snooze button and woke at 840. i still remember dreaming about being late for school, and how damp hair was evidence of why it was ok tat i was late (how bizzare) and the headmaster actually ruffling my hair to check that it really was damp. (even more bizzare)

yesterday was weird too, in an awkward way. thankfully SN2 and me werent the only 2 at dinner, heng i had other ppl to talk to, plus had a constant stream of messages to reply to. thank god for technology. its jus weird la, i really hate it when things get weird unnecessarily. urgh. only hot ones please! hehe

anyhow, i was reminded how in a few days i will be able to round up my age, to the big 3-0. 30! wth! i still really wanna sleep. ZzzZzZZzzz

many thanks, cos i look stupid to everyone now, i appear incompetent
thanks for not reading things properly, for not conveying what i originally said
thanks for twisting up my instructions
thanks for not bothering to clarify with me
thanks for your 'initiative' tho u're not part of it
thanks cos you've sucked the life and energy out of me.
thanks
really
thanks


things i want moving dont move, things i tink shld be done arent done, things i dont wanna do i have to grit my teeth and get it done.

tantalised by the prospect that i'm going to snap soon.

i am thankful for it being thursday because friday and the weekend will be here and it will be a good weekend not jus cos of all the good company i'll be getting but mainly cos i'll have time away from the insanity here.

its been a horrible week, and i'm just really tired.

i must be really stressed by work and studying, cos i dreamt and dreamt of these 2, and they intertwined at some point and then i woke up sobbing. and even after waking up and realising it was a dream, i jus carried on sobbing for a bit before i must have, finally, thankfully, drifted off again.

anyway, enough on the melancholy.

read something cute =0)

'When I was leading trips in Vietnam, I just loved the straightforward way that the Vietnamese handled the toilet thing - they just called it ‘The Happy House’. Why ‘Happy House’? Very simple, according to one local guide, just take a look at the excruciating grimace on the face of someone desperate to go and barely holding on. Then watch the complete transformation that occurs when they make it in the nick of time and emerge, smiling with palpable relief - what joy, what happiness! So when you go travelling in Vietnam, forget all the fancy English names for the toilet - go with the local Vietnamese-English - it’s ‘The Happy House’!'

taken from Intrepid travel and now i wanna see the lemurs in madagascar, stay in a mongolian yurt, go to the kremlin, dance up a storm in brazil and spend 200 days on a trans saharan/african tour spotting game, photographing sphinxes and be mesmerised by all that is in this world of ours.

i am so broke.

the expenditure has been enormous, especially so this month or so cos of the sheer number of birthdays, mcat books and no thanks to my skin. My poor statement looks rather dismal.

so unhealthy!

and yet there are so many things i want/need! i still havent gotten my dslr/new cam, i need to replenish my supply of mascara/makeup remover/find some real good foundation to cover scars and even out my skin tone cos its still much lighter than the rest of my body, i wanna go for intermediate golf, go pick up a new dance, go for diving (which means learn how to swim @@), pay for mcat itself (god knows how many times i'd have to re-sit), get new basic bottoms cos mine dont really fit very well anymore, i wanna invest in some baking stuff, like a new nifty mixer or ramekins and blah blah the list could go on. oh ya i oso wanna get back to espanol, wat a pity to give it up when i havent even learnt how to curse in that language! did i also mention braces? and a new pair of specs? oh and shades too =0) and holidays!

i'm also facing a time crisis - i dont have time to do all these things! so in addition to a lack of $$, i need more time too! i am so tempted to quit and not work for a few months jus to purely study for mcat and do all that i wanna do and never got around to doing.

but i'm broke and since beggers cant be choosers, i guess i shall shaddup, do my work like i'm paid to, leave whatever dreams and wishes far far aside and just live in the reality of today.

gastric juice batteries. cant get any more innovative than that huh?

Let me tell you a story.

i decided to cab to work, no thanks to that nasty humongous blister i got from walking home (can you say H-U-M-O-N-G-O-U-S, it spans the width of my entire toe, from after the nail to 1st joint).

there were 2 cabs, one had the red 'BUSY' sign, followed by another with a green 'AVAILABLE' sign. so i flagged the green one, but the red one stopped. grumpy old man it was, but ok lor, he stop so i hopped on.

we moved off, and a distance down, he suddenly said, '如果要吃糖你自己拿hor?' (there was a big plastic container of burger gummies at the centre rest)

i was like, errrrrrrr. *weird* 谢谢but不用la, 早餐还没有吃不可以吃糖。

and he said, 不要紧， 你可以拿，留晚上吃嘛!

i still politely refused, was kinda taken aback at this point.

then he said, 如果要tissue,也可以拿hor.

me said, wah uncle, then 你的车费也是免费的啊！

he said, har! 那个不可以啦！！！

me went, 我以为全部免费可以拿嘛！开玩笑啦！ But 你的服务很好leh, 很难的！

he replied, wah 你这个女孩很风趣。 可是这是为了答谢你们嘛， 谢谢你们这么自持我，坐我的车。我不可以亏待support 我的人leh.

and so, after i got off the cab, i offered him one of my newly acquired matcha biscuits.

and he charged me 20cents less.

and i walked out happie.

and walked away with many thoughts.

uno: never judge a book by its cover. appearances are deceptive. his actions changed the entire way i view/judged/stereotyped him as a person.

dos: small things matter. a tiny action goes a long way, ppl will remember it. same goes for bad things.

tres: value-addedness. that 'extra' touch. the right-mindedness we need and can work towards.

cuatro: goodness begets goodness, kindness begets kindness. its a never ending cycle of goodwill!

cinco: compliments shld be used more often. when said from the heart, they reinforce the good things tat are innate in you, make you happie, and u'll prob make someone else happie too. wats there not to like about it?

seis: positive thinking and pride in work. customers come in all sorts of shapes sizes and temperaments. his perception of his customers really takes positive thinking to another notch. i'm impressed, i dont tink i can do it.

speaking of ppl who take pride in work, i'm impressed by this kindly old chef at the hawker near my house. his hokkien mee is damn good, for 3bucks you get a mountainful of noodles soaked in yummy prawn broth and you know wat? he bothers to cook the prawns/squid separately from the noodles and carefully arranges them on top of the noodles, then dishing up with 2 types of chilli by the side.

at times like this, i cant help but be selfish, and wish these great chefs (plus the chwee kueh uncle at bukit merah) will 长身不老 so i can enjoy their yummy creations forever!

oh and by the way, another lesson i learnt today - resist ALL urges to sneeze while applying mascara. the ensuing disaster is, simply put, disastrous.

cool wallpaper for a boy's room

i'd eat from these anyday!

pretty duvet cover

party ware! (but so unenvironmentally friendly man)

jap designs are just.so.kawaii.ne.

winsome illustrations!
i'd love to own a sketch book with this cover

duno wat this is, but they are so cute!

my fave!!

these are absolutely adorable! they're wat i'd get if i had kids, but i dont, so those married/marrying couples, pls hurry with procreation so i can buy for ur kids!!

several, but the most significant one has to do with the exploding (container with my lunch inside the) microwave.

*in awe* so it really happens in real life!

hilarious! CMI CMI CMI!

=0p

1) pimple/bump free skin for once! its been soooooooo long since i last had clear skin and i'm deliriously happie but cautiously so in fear that they will be back again. *shudder*

2) lactose intolerant no more! i had milk, and teh halia yesterday, and cheese prata too, plus a wee bit of milo godzilla and was perfectly fine! it could also be cos i was so scared my fear receptors completely overshadowed watever biological needs my digestive tract had. watever. happie!

3) upcoming trips, geisha-ing at genting, and hurray to hanoi! sidenote: i dont know why its been hell trying to book hotels in hanoi. all the hotel owners seem to be in cahoots and its been near impossible to find something decent for 'flashpackers' which i suppose we seem to be, matching everyone's expectations and just looking for some place reliable ie hotel is still standing, doesnt have 5 different names at the same location, or same name at 2 locations, and somewhat delivers. i dont recall having such a hard time for all other trips, even cambodia or hcm!

4) the effects of the wonderful steamboat at mymy's far extends into the week. i'm still basking (reeling??) in the aftereffects of really yummy soup and too much food for my own good.

5) hawker dinners and semi-hawker suppers, simply cos i perpetually crave for salty food now tat the stupid meal replacement is sweet. bah. i am losing my sweet tooth and happie bout it!

not too pleased tho, bout something. here is not the right place though. feather ruffling i tink is unnecessary, altho i did wan to put my point across clearly here.

lunch!

i am very irritated.

i hate hate hate it when ppl spoil my day, a monday no less, especially when i started it being happie!

but lesson being, i will stop being nice. it DOESNT pay. at all. seriously.

when will i ever learn!

i find it impossible to study at home cos i hate that the korean dramas playiing in the living room cannot be masked by the sounds of liszt, chopin and other quiet studying music.

earphones do not work, i need heavy duty headphones!

i miss the library, engin and starbucks.

the godbrother has replied with a YES.

i is relieved. hehehehe

i am in posttrauma phase.

they do say that posttraumatic growth has positive aspects on the individual, and 'many people, such as Christopher Reeve, have overcome traumas and moved on to become inspirational figures'.

Maybe i'll be an inspirational figure soon!

dreamy floaty dress, really uncharacteristic of me for liking all these soft sweet colours.

ah this is more me.
love this one by anne hash. the details!

elie saab manages to make a really poufy dress so un-prom like. i like!


ethereal.

We.Are.Off.To.Hanoi.

YAY!!!!

ok suddenly feeling dizzy and weak. @@

too bad tomorrow's seminar is so freaking early (i hate HSA) otherwise can zzz in but nmind, steak sandwich lunch we shall have!

and a HAPPIE HAPpiE BDAE TO MISS KANG AND MISS LEO!