Monday, February 23, 2009

so i had some of life's sessions the other day, meant to change the way i look at physics, meant to motivate and inspire. and at that point, i thought, hey he's right no more excuses i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it.

i.can.do.it.

then i attempted the new chapters. and history repeated itself.

i jus couldnt get what the book is saying, i dont get what the notes are driving at. so i struggled to read it again, trying to make any sense of it. and then when i was abit more confident, i tried the questions and got absolutely deflated.

cos i had absolutely no idea how to do them. and i got so frustrated i sorta burst out crying infront of the guys before badminton.

i dun get it i dun get it i dun get it i dun get it.

even if i got the answers right, it wasnt cos i totally knew how to do it.

i look at the list of topics and all i feel is despair. its really painful not being able to do it when you're not used to not being able to do something well.

the other thing tat really gets to me is that i have to seek help. i hate doing it, i hate bugging ppl, i hate having to take up their time, i hate not being able to do it myself when i shld be able to, i hate it but i have no choice.

ok. stop. i am too emo for my own good. in any case, i just need to offload so that i can move on.  

i need to figure out the best, most efficient way of doing this right. i need to do it asap. i'm learning like how i would if i had an entire sem and thats isnt gonna work now.

more fortitude, and resolve please!