Monday, March 23, 2009
one more for the road
which is ending in 2 wks time, cept i doubt its really gonna be the end's end. i'm not as gan cheong as i was, kinda cos i've realised its impossible to master everything. i still struggle thru moments, fuss over nucleophilic reactions, worry about the entire endocrine system, breeze thru quantum numbers cos there is no way i'm gonna remember that, and give up reading up on history and instead focusing on barack obama going on jay leno. fail, then fail lor. and try again.
i kinda missed blogging properly. like, quietly, just writing and going on and on about my thoughts and feelings. i've been feeling detached from the world (read: social life = close to none!), havent been properly writing, being angsty, cos words now stump me and i tink of things in terms of molecular structure and equations (or 'relationships', as w puts it). so here i am in the dead of the night, even tho i promised myself i'd do the cinderella. apparently not.
realised a couple of things too. for one i've missed doing biological drawings. you know, nephron drawings, cell sketches, etc, so tats prob the most fun bit of mcat - literally going back to the drawing board and creating nice colourful annotated diagrams i can actually understand and feel happy reading.
also din realise how much i missed mars, til earlier in the day when i finally decided to use some perfume. scents are powerful memory invokers, right? absolutely. one whiff, and wow it just brought me back there.
i haent missed work, for sure. i tink part of why i havent been that upset or irritable is cos i havent been provoked by stupid ppl. no doubt 5 wks are meant for the exam, but its made me more certain i dont wanna go back there. i really have a low tolerance for stupidity and jppl who justare not using their brains.
been meeting lotsa strange ppl these few wks. random guys who'd talk to me at the stranges places, like the jamaican at the nlb, the odd uncle at the bus stop, the security guard who'd earlier asked me how my studying was and was somehow VERY convinced i'd do well, many other random encounters i dont remember now. its also been a great time catching up with ppl i havent met in a while, plus funerals, weddings, all so strange cos i havent really been meeting up with the ppl i used to meet up with when i was at work, and am instead spendng alot of time wiht ppl i dont usually meet, cousins included. which is a nice sorta feeling actually, sometmes u need something different to make a blase existence abit more erm.. spicy? but anyways the impromptu meetup with the original fags was also chicken soup for the soul. ppl who u can basically say anything and everything to and they're cool with it. so car, that explains why i squealed when u rubbed the bruise. cos tats basically my natural reaction and i'm comfy squealing but not when OTHER ppl are there. and yes, i'll definitely cook for you guys. in fact, i've BAKED for u guys b4. still kb over maggie mee!! tsk. ingrates!
was at mac earlier, and ended up half amused half irritated by this bunch of gays dressed to kill with shorts and fishnets, or tights and knee high boots. irritated cos i wanna study la! tok so loud! kaoz. amused cos they were DAMN bitchy and drama. no offense but i wonder why some of them are more girly then girls, more drama than divas, and wah liew eh damn bitchy can! even i dun bitch abt ppl lidat leh.. but the flair, the passion, RESPECT. but fwah their MAC palettes were damn nice, made me abit jealous cos my shu uemura eyeshadow pots clearly PALE in comparison. damnit. i need to buck up!
ok, this shld provide you with enough reading material for that 'break' you're supposedly on whilst in the office. so if u're still reading at this point, STOP SLACKING AND GO BACK TO WORK! yes you. i can smirk cos i'm on leave and you're not. =0p
i kinda missed blogging properly. like, quietly, just writing and going on and on about my thoughts and feelings. i've been feeling detached from the world (read: social life = close to none!), havent been properly writing, being angsty, cos words now stump me and i tink of things in terms of molecular structure and equations (or 'relationships', as w puts it). so here i am in the dead of the night, even tho i promised myself i'd do the cinderella. apparently not.
realised a couple of things too. for one i've missed doing biological drawings. you know, nephron drawings, cell sketches, etc, so tats prob the most fun bit of mcat - literally going back to the drawing board and creating nice colourful annotated diagrams i can actually understand and feel happy reading.
also din realise how much i missed mars, til earlier in the day when i finally decided to use some perfume. scents are powerful memory invokers, right? absolutely. one whiff, and wow it just brought me back there.
i haent missed work, for sure. i tink part of why i havent been that upset or irritable is cos i havent been provoked by stupid ppl. no doubt 5 wks are meant for the exam, but its made me more certain i dont wanna go back there. i really have a low tolerance for stupidity and jppl who justare not using their brains.
been meeting lotsa strange ppl these few wks. random guys who'd talk to me at the stranges places, like the jamaican at the nlb, the odd uncle at the bus stop, the security guard who'd earlier asked me how my studying was and was somehow VERY convinced i'd do well, many other random encounters i dont remember now. its also been a great time catching up with ppl i havent met in a while, plus funerals, weddings, all so strange cos i havent really been meeting up with the ppl i used to meet up with when i was at work, and am instead spendng alot of time wiht ppl i dont usually meet, cousins included. which is a nice sorta feeling actually, sometmes u need something different to make a blase existence abit more erm.. spicy? but anyways the impromptu meetup with the original fags was also chicken soup for the soul. ppl who u can basically say anything and everything to and they're cool with it. so car, that explains why i squealed when u rubbed the bruise. cos tats basically my natural reaction and i'm comfy squealing but not when OTHER ppl are there. and yes, i'll definitely cook for you guys. in fact, i've BAKED for u guys b4. still kb over maggie mee!! tsk. ingrates!
was at mac earlier, and ended up half amused half irritated by this bunch of gays dressed to kill with shorts and fishnets, or tights and knee high boots. irritated cos i wanna study la! tok so loud! kaoz. amused cos they were DAMN bitchy and drama. no offense but i wonder why some of them are more girly then girls, more drama than divas, and wah liew eh damn bitchy can! even i dun bitch abt ppl lidat leh.. but the flair, the passion, RESPECT. but fwah their MAC palettes were damn nice, made me abit jealous cos my shu uemura eyeshadow pots clearly PALE in comparison. damnit. i need to buck up!
ok, this shld provide you with enough reading material for that 'break' you're supposedly on whilst in the office. so if u're still reading at this point, STOP SLACKING AND GO BACK TO WORK! yes you. i can smirk cos i'm on leave and you're not. =0p
thinking out loud at 2:04 AM
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